Faceless
by MisoKat
Summary: Since freshman year I've been worried. Worried about grades, about clubs, but never about boys. I'm always so busy the faceless men never stood out. No, things would never be the same. HiruxMamo. Complete
1. Part 1

The anime Eyesheild 21 is not my anime.

I don't care if if my story isn't how the anime goes.

--- = lasp in time

HirumaxMamori

Since freshman year I've been worried. Worried about grades, about clubs, but never about boys. I'm always so busy attending to the disiplinary committee or getting high scores on all my test that the faceless men that passed through the same halls I did never stood out. As my friends looked through horoscopes, discovering when they should make their move on the opposite sex I just sat and poored over my homework. It wasn't until my second year that I started to notice anyone.

Sena has been my best friend, my little brother, for as long as I can remember. From back in grade school when I was saving him from bullies, to high school on that first day when the devils from the football club came and threw him around I was there. He's such a small, sweet boy that I never imagined anything happening between us. I knew I was just like a mother hen protecting her chick from the dangerous cyotes, but I didn't think Sena would be able to go on without me. I didn't want to think about the day he walked away from me and into the belly of the beast. I wanted to protect him from the harsh outside world. I wanted him to stay in my bubble. My shield. But he found his way out.

I want to go back to that first day. To relive it. And maybe you can see where my pain starts, and his ends. I saw him through the crowd (Not his head of course, but his hair) and feverently waved to make sure he took notice of me standing next to the huge board filled with names. His number was twenty one. I'll never forget that number. And when I found it I was so happy I started to cry. That was the happiest momment of the day. I had my chick back in my nest, and now all I had to do was mother him until he could fend for himself, walk on his own. Or in Sena's case, run.

It was much later when I heard of the bullies picking a fight on Sena. I was furious, and as a member of the disiplinary committee I wanted to suspend them, or worse. The only good part of that day was that Sena found Kurita. Kurita was a new friend for Sena, a person that wouldn't throw him around or make him do things that required Sena to run so much he was exhausted. I was happy Sena found Kurita, but not happy that he found Hiruma.

Hiruma is the devil. I've hated him since freshman year. When I first came to the home of the Devil Bats, Hiruma wasn't the scary antagoizer he is today. No, he was a small freshman with bright, blonde hair that stuck out in so many directions it was hard to see where it all ended. He was picked on endlessly and teased beyond that. It was only when he joined that football team that he became a monster. With the help of the two other members of the football club, Hiruma started to snoop. To pick up little pieces of information on every first, second, and third year he could find. Hiruma was spiteful and resonabley so, but he used his information to blackmail and scam people into doing his bidding. Even the principal is under the spell of Hiruma's black book. With the dirt he has on the disciplinary committee we can't touch him. As he advanced a year, so did his height-- by five years. He shot up to six foot and towered over the rest of the student body. His limbs became impossibley stretched and elongated that he looked like a glorified tooth pick with scattered muscels trailing down his lankey arms. With this new level of intimidation he became an untouchable entity. Like a God. Only with pointy hair and teeth.

When Sena met Hiruma, I could feel my binds on Sena become loose. I walked with Sena that night and gave him my number to put in his new cell phone. I knew I'd be the only one in his contacts and I felt the binds become tighter. I needed to watch over Sena. Make sure he never left my comfortable bubble. I was scared. When will I tie the bonds too tight? When will they snap?

Something about Hiruma made me want to stare at him. I first felt it when we were sitting on the train coming home from the Cupid's game. It felt like if I took my eyes off of him for a momment he would disappear and then reappear with someone's head, or arm. He had the look of the delinquent but the smarts of a scholar. Sitting across from him I mentally took him in. I brought him into my bubble-- wanted him there so I could keep a close eye on him. He sat there, looking relaxed, with his arms resting behind him on the seat and his legs crossed infront of him. I took in what he was wearing. A tight black shirt stretched across his lightly toned chest and then softly loosening at it went down his torso. His arms were exposed, showing the effects of morning and afternoon training plus a game. There was slight traces of dirt running down his forearms and bruises on his hands. His claw like fingers were draped carelessly over the tops of the seats next to him and I watched as they twitched when the train lurched-- like he was ready at a moments notice. His black pants were tight, and pressed, opening up only slightly at the bottom to lay relaxed over his black pointed shoes that were shined to perfection. They covered his long legs in a way to make them look impossibly longer. By the time I was finished examining him, he was looking at me, with his large toothy grin. I realized he was sizing me up as well. He was what made me join the football club. Sure, Sena's safety was one of my priorities, but I didn't want to stop looking at Hiruma. I couldn't. Every time he flashed me a toothy smile my eyes would widen followed by my mouth would hang in a big "O" shape. No, I could never stop looking at Hiruma.

On that train ride home I decided to join the club. Not just for Hiruma, but for Sena too. Atleast, that's what I told myself. I'd go to every practice, every game, and make sure my hen wasn't going to make a break for it.

I started to feel the pain the next day. When Hiruma walked into our clubs little shed, my stomach hurt. My heart started to beat faster and my throat closed, like I've been parched for days. It felt weird and I thought I was going to be sick. I quickly regretted scarfing down all of those cream puffs. I had no idea that the sight of Hiruma would make me ill. I looked over at Sena. He was happy. Staring up at Hiruma, almost admiring him. I felt a different pain now. My heart slowed and I felt the pain burn slowly. Sena was over me protecting him. He seemed to want to protect himself. I felt useles. I wanted to run out of that shed and back into a classroom to loose myself in a textbook. But I couldn't move. I looked up and saw Hiruma, his eyes booring into me. That same toothy grin spread over his long face. My heart started up again, flushing away the pain of loosing Sena. I don't know why, but I smiled back at Hiruma.

---

"What are you doing here woman?" Hiruma asked increduously. I watched his head wip around and take in the new shed. I decided the old one didn't have enough spirit so I spent the whole week searching for cheap paint and decorations to make it more... Homey. My entire free period was dedicated to making this place sparkle with spirit.

I stared daggers in his direction. "What do you mean 'what are you doing here'?" I left off the degrading 'woman' part. "I'm the manager! I can be here whenever I so please." I turned around smirked in his direction. With the force of the movement came my light red hair. My bangs grew past my cheeks as the football season went on. I never bothered to get it cut. From what I could see through my hair, Hiruma looked amused.

"You should really get a hair cut." Hiruma mused, "I wouldn't want the only female around here to look like a shaggy dog!" He laughed his 'ya-ha' laugh and sat down in the one comfortable chair in the whole shed-- the one for me I brought from home. I could taste my anger. I quickly finished hanging up the last, "Go Devil Bats!" banner and sat down on the opposite end of the strategizing table. I wouldn't take my eyes off him. I couldn't. It was the day of a home game and he wore his jersey over his black pants. It hung loosely over his broad shoulders and tightened over his chest to end below his hips. He sat diagonally at the table so his long legs could stretch out infront of him and slightly fold. His shoes were black and shined so I could see my own reflection in them. I saw my medium length reddish hair hanging around my face, slightly curling when it reached the end. My face was clear, even though I've been working all morning. My eyes were a bright blue and, at the moment, widened in suprise on how nice I looked today. My face was round, with full pink lips. I was wearing the issued school uniform without the jacket and I'd unbuttoned the top buttons of the shirt to make working a bit easier. Move manuverability and sweating room in loose close. I looked from his shoes to his face. My heart didn't utter one beat. I couldn't breathe. It felt.. oddly nice to be strangled by his face. Every angle of his harsh face, the slight curve of his amused lips, and his delicately angled eyes made me want to stay there and just look.

Only a minute passed when my silent mental exam was over. I looked at his face and he looked at mine. I watched him slowly turn his agile body towards mine, but with a table between us I knew he couldn't have noticed the sudden speed increase of my heart. I wanted him to keep coming towards me. This table was an obstacle. I watched him fold his arms across his chest and lean foward, so his arms rested against the table. He extended his arms out infront of him, and without taking his eyes off mine, laid his chin on his arms. More seconds passed. I wondered where Kurita and Sena were. I needed them here to end this physical tension. I wanted to look around the room, analyze my handiwork, but every time I tried to redirect my focus, I'd come back down on Hiruma's eyes.

_This is it. _I thought. _Hiruma is going to kill me. I'm going to die. Right now he's going through the ways inwhich to kill me and make it seem like an accident._ This accusation made sense at the time. Why else would he look at me like that? I watched him turn his head and burrow his face in his arms. I tensed, waiting for him to spring. But nothing happened. I waited, and watched his shoulders rise and fall with breathing.

I was suddenly calm. I listened as his breathing escalated in to small snores, and then ear splitting ones. I guess when you spend all morning practicing and all afternoon terroizing people you can get pretty tired by free period. I laughed an airy laugh and quietly moved my chair around the table closer to his. I blame this entirely on my mothering instinct. The back of my head screamed at me to move away, to run out and come back later when there were witnesses, but my heart rooted me to my chair. To this shed. I wasn't moving. Because now, I could stare at him all I wanted.

I laid my head on my arms right infront of his face. It was confusing to me as I did it but it felt natural. The first thing I noticed was how peaceful he was. His eyes relaxed and I could see no sign of malice in them as I could before. His mouth was slack as it let out the noise of his snores. His pointy right ear was pressed firmly into his right arm and I could see the small shimmers of his earings peaking out through the small gap. I let my eyes wander to his other ear, sticking out a bit too far from his head with it's point noticeably coming through his golden hair. His earrings on that ear lay the way he did, and almost brushed against his chin line. I reached out my hand to touch them. They were so pretty, made of pure silver no doubt, and probably stolen, but I needed to touch them. To feel their cold metal against my fingers and maybe even let my hand run up the length of his long ear, and then back down to caress his sleeping face.

My hand lurched forward and at that momment I realized this was all really stupid. I stayed lying on left arm, my hair a pillow between my bare arm and my left ear. I snapped back into reality but didn't sit up. I was too tired. I'd been spending so much energy on this football team I didn't have any left to spare to pull me out of my seat. My hand twitched on the table. I watch it make my mental and physical struggle to stay planted on the 40 yard line. Only then did I realize I had feelings for Hiruma. I had thoughts about the evil devil who sat next to me. And I liked them. I wanted them. My heart seemed to scream his name. I didn't want to face the fact that the sickness I felt in my stomach was a deep feeling for the pointy haired miscreant. I needed to look at him, to touch him, to feel for him. He wasn't like my little hen Sena. He was so much more.

I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift to places that my body couldn't go. I pictured him in as many ways as I could. From torturing Sena through drills, to throwing the football with scary accuracy into a waiting reciever. My heart fluttered and I sighed. I wanted him to be mine. Though, I figured I'd have no competition because no female would _ever _want to hook up with anyone as scary as Hiruma. But then again, why did I? I hated him. Loathed him to my very core. Inspite of all my hate I still wanted to open my eyes and look at him. I opened my sleepy eyes and the first thing I noticed was my hand. It wasn't on the forty yard line. I looked up and saw my hand father down, at the twenty, holding Hiruma's. I was speechless. I just stared at my hand laced with Hiruma's long claws. It looked nice. It felt nice. But how the hell did it happen? I mental traced through the past couple of minutes. I mean, it has only been a couple of minutes right? I looked at the clock. It was half past two. I'd slept through the rest of the day without realizing it. I mentally cursed and started to get up-- there was a slight tug on my right hand. Hiruma was awake now, looking at me as if I'd just killed his new puppy and was looking for revenge. I cringed away from his glare, a reflex, only then realizing the hurt in his eyes. Why did he look hurt? What did I do?

I looked in his eyes for a long time. He didn't say anything. It seemed like eons, but it was only a few seconds and he let my hand go and buried his face into his arms. The absense of his hand instantly made me sad. Like I was missing something. I pulled my hand close to my chest and held it by the wrist, looking at it thoughtfully. _Why?_ I thought. The sound of Hiruma's snoring pulled me back into reality. He had fallen asleep again, like nothing ever happened. And maybe nothing did...

---

Ever since that day I didn't look at Hiruma the same. It wasn't a subtle curiosity now, it was full on "What the hell?". I took in every movement he did and analyzed it, the reanalyzed it. Looking for that same Hiruma I found in the clubhouse. My hand has felt heavy since that day. I stopped worrying about homework. All mundane school activies took barely any focus to complete, and I was too wrapped around Hiruma to notice any passing of time. Every free period Hirums would fall asleep in the shed and I would sit as far away from him as possible and watch him. I'd listen to him snore. I'd do everything but go anywhere near him. I tried to sit near him, once, and the pull I felt towards him was too unsettling. So, I just sat and watch.

This became routine, his sleeping and my watching. It was like old hat after about a week. But one day, my monotiny stopped.

"What are you looking at?" Hiruma asked in a sleepy voice. My concentration snapped back to the present, away from my day dreaming.

"W-Who?" I asked, stuttering a little. I pointed to myself."Me? Nothing. Why do you ask?" I attempted to shrugg nonchantly and failed. His face rose slowly from his arms too look at me. His eyes ran across my face.

"Yeah, you." He sounded annoyed, "You keep looking at me. Every day. I'm really sick of it." He spit on the floor. I inwardly cringed at cleaning it up.

"Anyone would stare." I said quickly. I've been practicing what I'd say if he woke up. "You snore like a banshee." I smirked at him, thinking I'd won.

I didn't. He grinned his crazy toothy grin before saying, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you liked looking at me." I froze. He noticed. Damn his good observational skills. But I have good skills too, I saw the glimmer of hope in his eyes and I got confident. How could he know about my fascination. "So," he asked and I lost all of my cool persona. "Why haven't you tried to touch me again?" I gasped. He saw me try that? So long ago? Was he not actually sleeping. He grinned and held up his clawed hand. The same one I held that day. "I have to admit, I was shocked you liked holding my hand." I shot up out of my chair and made for the door. I was too embaressed to think of a comeback. I just know I wanted to leave there as soon as possible. He was wearing my favorite outfit-- His school uniform button down with half of the top buttons undone showing his toned chest and those tight black pants with the impossibley shiney shoes. I wouldn't be suprised if he know that it was my favorite by the way he laughed at my reaction.

I huffed and continued to the door. My vision was red, with a hint a blue. An overwhelming sadness to follow up with my anger. Not only did this prove he knew my secret, but he obviously had no good feelings towards me. All those thoughts of something more with him, something nice and special, were gone. Only pain and sadness remained in my heart that used to be so full of admiration. I was two feet from the door when suddently Hiruma was right infront of me. How did he get there so fast? Were all of those drills making him that impossibley quick? Or was I storming out that slow? Either way I couldn't reason. His face was stern, as if his mind were set on something and he was thinking of ways to do it. I shuddered thinking about what he was going to do. Get out the megaphone and tell everyone? Keep this information in his black book and keep it to taunt me with? Or just shun me for the rest of my high school career. My shoulders relaxed and slightly slouched forward. All of my anger was gone. I fought back any sign of defeat, embaressment, or lost love. I just stood there, looking at him with eyes that surely lacked any hatred. And he looked down at me.

I've never noticed boys before, but at this momment Hiruma seemed very, very much there. Has he always been that tall? Yeah. He has. Has he always looked at me like this? No, I think not. Instead of angry eyes that I'd expect from such a stern expression, they were burning. I almost took a step back in my suprise, but before I could even think of moving his arm snaked around my waist. I felt myself be hoisted foward, towards Hiruma. Closer to those burning eyes. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what he wanted me to do, be scared? In my confusion I put my hands out in front of me and laid them on his chest. I thought I was going to push him away, but instead my fingers curled and took the fabric of his loose shirt. I felt my arms pull him towards me. What was I doing? What did I plan to do? My mind swam in possiblities but my vision was clouded by the irresistable smell of whatever cologne Hiruma must use. It smelled like fresh cut grass and earthy wood. It drifted from him, making it impossible to think clearly. Was this part of his trick? Bury me in my own desires? I knew what I wanted. I wanted Hiruma to pull me closer. To run his thin fingers down my face and trace them across my lips. I wanted him to hold my face in his hand and the other squeeze my waist so hard I could feel the claw-like nails press into my skin. Then I would know if he wanted me. Wanted me like I suddenly wanted him.

Suddenly he let me go. My hands released his shirt. I fell with a slight thud back to earth. My feet were firmly placed on the ground-- no longer suspended slightly in the air as if reaching towards something. My heart was flying. My breathing was so heavy I thought I'd pass out. But I wouldn't fall. Hiruma's hand was pressed lightly against the small of my back, as if holding me up, making sure I wouldn't fall into the table next to us. I was very aware of him now. I could still smell him. I could see where my hands held his shirt with such passion, such wanting. I soon realized why he let me go so abruptly. I heard too clearly the pounding steps of team mate Kurita. I was suddenly thankful for his enormous weight. It would have been embaressing to have someone walk in on a scene like that. I glanced up at Hiruma then, relief written all over my face I'm sure, and he looked back down at me and smiled.

It wasn't a smile that was used when he was being a prick. It wasn't a smile that was used when he knew he'd won, and was gloating. It was a genuine smile. He was happy. I gasped again and he took that momment to lean down and kiss me. It was small. It was a light peck. It was enough. My heart flew. It escaped my chest and flew up, and up, and when it reached the roof it flew through it-- with such speed and velocity I wondered when it would come back down. I felt dizzy. Hiruma then quickly set me down in the same chair he was in, removing his hand from my back to do so. I sat down and breathed, suddenly grounded. Hiruma dashed across the shed just in time for Kurita to come in, bags of food in hand.

"Hey guys!" He said and put down his heavy load. He beamed brightly from the doorway.

"Hey fatso." Hiruma mummbled, pretending he was pooring over his black book. But I saw the smile in his eyes. I greeted Kurita too and helped him unpack the various baked goods he'd brought with him. Lucky for me, the cabniet we kept most of the food in was right next to Hiruma. When I was done stacking the cream puffs next to the cupcakes, I looked at Hiruma. He gave me a smirk and winked.

---

Things changed after that. First, football season ended. The shed was still open to anyone who wanted to come, but no one ever did. Just Hiruma and I during our free period. Every day I'd come in and he was already sitting there, waiting for me. The first day after he kissed me, he was standing next to the doorway, leaning against the wall. He took me by suprise and made me jump about five feet. He wore my favorite outfit again, only this time all the buttons were undone, to tease me no doubt. He waited until I put my books down to say anything.

I was facing the other way when he asked, "So, did you like it?" He asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. I analyzed that question. I decided to be a little smart.

"Like what?" I asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. That was a bad idea. He was behind me then, one of his long arms wrapped around my waist and the other on my shoulder, spinning me around to face him. He put the other arm securely around the rest of my waist and lifted me slightly off the ground, my arms pinned to my sides. He put my face as close to his as he could manage without our lips touching. I was overwhelmed by his earthy smell and my brain instantly stopped thinking. I pulled my arms out of their hold and put my hands on his face. It was oddly smooth, and deliciously angular. His mouth was set into an amused smile as I ran my hands up his cheeks and rested them behind his neck. I traced as far down his back as I could before lightly touching his ears, starting with his cold earings to the delicate point. His hair tickled my hands and sent shivers through my body. When I looked at his face again, his eyes were closed. He was breathing as heavy as me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, tracing his jaw line on the way. When my movement stopped, he opened his eyes. I could see my own expression in his.

We both exuded extreme levels of want. We lusted for eachother. We wanted to touch, to feel, to kiss. I didn't want to stop. My mouth parted and I breathed, "Hiruma." That was all it took. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It wasn't soft. His passion was so forceful. His mouth moved fast with mine. I could taste his sweet breath. I could feel my body tremble as his hands ran across my back and slowly untucked my button down shirt from my skirt. He played with the hem of my skirt before sending his hands up my shirt to my back. He traced circles with his claws on my smooth skin. I couldn't take it. I moved my hands from his neck to the inside of his own shirt. I ran my hands across his smooth chest. He shrugged off the fabric until his shirt draped from his wrists and left his chest bare. I broke the kiss to look at his perfection. In my pause he took the oportunity to unbutton my own shirt and take off the rest of his. He pulled down my skirt until it rested on my hips, unzipping the back and slowly pulling it all the way off.

I stepped out my skirt. In doing so, I had to take a step back from Hiruma. I saw the crazed want in his eyes, and could only assume I must look just like the crazed boy infront of me. My stomach swelled on the thought of any possibilities that might happen once he became as naked as I was. I felt my shirt hang loosely from my shoulders-- my bra and panties still completely intact. I felt exposed. But I liked it. I wanted to show myself to Hiruma more. I wanted him to see how I've felt for months.I didn't have any time to think after that. Hiruma grabbed me by the waist and picked me up. He set me on the table top. I saw all the lines, all of the yard numbers. How many times have I looked at this table? It will never be innocent to me again. Hiruma didn't notice my observation. He was quickly taking off his own pants and helping me slip off my shirt. His greedy hands found my face and turned it to look at him. He looked irresistable to me. I didn't think about the table again.

He kissed me again. This time, his mouth was calmer, gentler on mine. I was greateful. My lips would be bruised tomorrow from the previous session. I felt him press into me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and used my arms to prop me up on the table, our chests touching. There were so many feelings, and I had no idea how to act on any of them. I just knew I didn't want him to stop kissing me. I wanted him to do more than kissing me. He must have read my thoughts then because he undid my bra swiftly with a clawed hand. I felt the flimsy thing snap and fall on the table. His hands did more than his lips. They felt so good. Even the slight pain from his claws felt oddly sensual. Like he was playfully nipping.

Then he stopped kissing me. I moaned in protest, but he made up for his lack of kisses. He moved his lips to my chest and kissed everything from my torso up. His lips trailed along my stomach, up my chest, and around any obstacle he could find. I moaned in pure pleasure. I'd never thought of this kind of contact before. It filled me up. The feeling in my stomach came back, and I realize now, I wasn't going to get sick, I was in love. I loved Hiruma. I loved his touch, his kiss, his face, his everything. Hiruma then moved up to kiss my neck. I twined my hands in his hair and forced his lips harder into my neck. I felt him pull at the skin there, felt his teeth graze across anything he kissed. I also felt my panties slip off with such practiced skill, I thought I'd imagined it.

I can't describe what I felt then. The kind of feeling that soared through me. It started with his long fingers. The hand that was not helping me balance was busy doing whatever he did to me that made me want to scream. I felt his two fingers first. They went deeper than I thought they could. I moaned and writhed against his body. Then I felt the slight prick of his claws. They felt like little stabs, but they felt better than his fingers. Whatever they touched made me want to scream. I wanted him to kiss me again. I didn't want to feel this way without him feeling the same thing. I pulled away from him to look at his eyes. They had the same lust in them, but I could see the glaze of happiness too. He was truely enjoying my reactions. Wether or not that was a sick and twisted joy, I'll never know. Then, I looked down. He had taken off his final layer of clothing somewhere along the way and I could tell how much he was enjoying this too.

I kissed him, for the first time. I was the one that started the kiss. It was slow, like a burning fire. In the midst of our burning kiss, Hiruma did something I'll never forget. I'll never forget the pain. When he put himself in me, I felt nothing but a horrible pain. I knew he knew of my pain when I stopped the molten kiss to lean back and moan. It was half pain, and half lust. I knew it would feel good. I just hand to give it time. He didn't care about my pain. He wanted me. He forced himself in me. I felt him grind into me. I liked the pain though. I moaned louder then, whispering his name after. I quickly wrapped my arms back around his neck, and breathed heavily into his pointed ear. I heard him laugh. Before I could wonder why, I was swept away by the feeling. I felt him move inside me. His harsh thrusts and his painful grinds. It was too much. The feeling in my stomach moved lower, lower than I thought it could and I felt a small fire burning. I was making all sorts of noises I'm sure. I just remember saying his name so many times, and so loudly my voice hurt. When I couldn't scream anymore I threw my head back. My eyes went blind. I still felt Hiruma having his way with me, but I also felt the most pleasure I ever had. My torso convulsed and my legs shook. I felt my toes go up towards the roof. I was lost in my own wonderful world and I didn't ever want to leave. I must have moaned really loud because Hiruma silenced me with a harsh kiss. I couldn't be quiet. I wasn't done yet.

When I could see again, Hiruma was still looking at me, still inside me. He breathed heavy and looked at me questionabley. My breathing echoed his. I felt warm. I felt something warm in me, but I didn't know what it was. I figured it was just the feeling of my first time, but when I looked down, I saw it. My legs were dripping with blood. I gaped at the mess I'd caused, but I also noticed something in the red. Something that didn't come from me. I looked up and realized Hiruma had came inside of me. All the warmth deep in me was Hiruma. I giggled. Good thing mom forced me on birth control when my acne got bad. I smiled at Hiruma.

I cleaned myself up using the sink and then slowly started to get dressed. I felt sore. Like if I walked any more than a few feet I'd have to sit down. He must have seen my legs begin to shake because he was behind me when I was fully dressed. His arm wrapped around my waist again and he nestled his face into my neck.

"That." He breathed, "How did you like _that_?" He teeth grazed my neck as he talked. I answered his question with another kiss. No, things would never be the same.

--


	2. Part 2

Again, Eyesheild isn't mine and I don't care if the story isn't anything like the anime or manga. Originality is key.  
Also: You know, I used to write a lot of smexy scenes back when I was still a virgin. I have no idea how people believed all my made up crap about sex. It's not that glamorous. It's a lot of breathing, moving and bodily fluids.

---

Hiruma started to hold my hand more. After our intimate moment in the shed, he was more aware of me in private, but not in public. Now he slipped his fingers between mine and walked me to my classes. It wasn't like other high school relationships. Ours felt like it was so much more. I felt warm beyond my own understanding when he wanted to show affection towards me. I was elated. He made me happy.

So. This is when the pain started. I felt like a whore. I had been raised the honest way. The, "abstinence until marriage" way. I thought of my first time as being magical. Carefree. And a lot less violent. The pain of having Hiruma was worse than being with Hiruma. Every second I was afraid of loosing him. Only now did I see the lustful gazes from the rest of the female populous. Why didn't I notice it before? All the girls want the crazy, untouchable guy. Why do we all pine for the one man we think no one else wants? I frequently look at Hiruma. When we walk, when we're talking, when we're standing still. My eyes glance at his face, searching for the love and compassion that I feel. Behind closed doors that delicious Hiruma comes out of hiding and ravishes me in ways that would make a monk blush. I was sure he liked me beyond what I knew. Well. I guess I kind of knew. But he never said anything about his feelings towards me. And I didn't think he ever would. The only way to make sure he was still mine was to indulge his sexual desires. Not like I minded.

This realization clawed at me. Scratched my heart and left bleeding scars. What if he didn't really want me for anything else besides a warm bedside partner (even though we've never used a bed)? I wanted him to hold me more. To look at me more. But he wouldn't. I don't think I've pouted more in my life than at that moment walking out the back door to the shed during free period. Sure, we were walking together and he was holding my hand, but I wanted him to gaze down at me lovingly and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. But Hiruma wasn't like that. He'll never be like that. I was torn in two pieces. The piece that wants him to lustfully take me, and the piece that wants him to sweep me off my feet.

It, again, was routine. We closed the door and instantly he was stripping me naked, his mouth on mine. He pushed me into the door and hoisted me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist. I was so lost in the thrill of the moment I forgot why I was sad. I forgot everything. I went blind again as he pushed into me, making me feel more than I've ever felt. It was only when we were done, him leaning against me crushing me into the door, that I remembered. I sighed a big sigh between my ragged breathing. He looked up from my chest to gaze at me with curious eyes. It wasn't the same sigh I usually do-- one of contentment and loving.

"What?" He asked sounding concerned but mostly annoyed. I could pick out the emotions in his voice so well now. I sighed again and he set me on my shaky legs offering his hand for support, knowing how weak my legs get after. He stared at me. It was his 'I'm confused' stare but to everyone else he just looked pissed. In a harsh tone he asked, "What did I do Mamori?" He never says my name. He usually calls me, 'Stupid manager girl.'

"Hiruma..." I started, but then I had to stop. I looked at his face again. A flash of hurt when over his features until they went back to his frozen 'pissed off' face. He was really worried. "Stop worrying." I took both of his hands in mine and squeezed them. I smiled at him in an attempt to reassure and comfort but he wasn't easily pleased. He pulled the comfortable chair over from the table and sat down. He pulled me on his lap and propped my legs over the arm of the chair. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. I kissed him slowly, making sure to feel every point of his teeth. To flow with every curve of his mouth. When I pulled away I made a point to look preoccupied playing with one of his earrings. I heard his annoyed grunt.

"You're avoiding me." Hiruma wasn't easy to fool. He squeezed my shoulder and turned my face to his using his free hand. The hand on my face was soft and inviting. I leaned into his touch.

Finally I whispered, ""I love you." I felt the words flow from my throat without my noticing. I didn't want to say those words. But I needed to. How long has it been? Almost nine months since he first kissed me. I was allowed to say that right? But I instantly panicked. My eyes grew wide as his narrowed. His hand didn't move. He was a perfect statue. The hair on the back of my neck stood up straight at his expression. I wanted to take my words and shove them back into my mouth. We sat there looking at each other, sizing up the others reaction. He kept unmoving. I tried to stand up. If he wasn't going to say anything, I wasn't going to sit on his lap-- which he was very much enjoying. He felt me start to move and kept me grounded.

"Is this it?" Hiruma sighed. I heard the twinge of guilt in his voice. "Is this why you've been so damn weird lately? You love me?" Hiruma's voice hitched into hysteria at the end. Like he couldn't believe it. I was automatically taken aback.

"Yeah." I said uncomfortably. "It is. And yes." I breathed in and out. He didn't say anything. He pushed me off his lap and got dressed so quickly it seemed impossible. Then he stormed out the door. I just sat there. Naked. In the most comfortable chair in the shed.

I was a wreck for a week. I felt my heart ache in ways it shouldn't. Hiruma wouldn't talk to me. No one else would have noticed, but I did. I watched Hiruma so carefully I memorized every strand of color in his blond hair. We didn't break our routine. He held my hand, walked me to class, made me feel things I can't get enough of in the shed, and then got dressed and left. He didn't look at me before, during or after. I would just sit there and feel confused. What did all this mean? I kind of expected a harshness from Hiruma before, but now it's escalated to just plain mean. I got dressed on the fifth day after I told him. I felt something in my shirt's pocket. I took out a small, think, folded piece of paper. I unfolded it once. In small writing it said, "To Mamori". I recognized Hiruma's chicken scratch. I unfolded it again. In even smaller writing it said, "Show anyone this and I swear to god I'll kill--" kill was scratched out and he rewrote, "leave you." I had to unfold it ten more times before the full note came into view. It was filled with holes and places where he'd pressed the pen too hard on the paper. I saw the scribbled out words to clearly.

_Mamori  
I'm sorry..._

I froze. I didn't expect that.

_Mamori  
I'm sorry. Really. I am. I just don't know how to do this. I'm so fucking-- so damned confused at myself. I've screwed--messed around with--had relations with other girls, and I thought you'd just be another one. Another name on my list (which is pretty long). But I can't stop thinking about you. I want to hold your hand in the hallways. I want you to know I care for you. But I don't know why. I'm not a nice guy, but I don't want to hurt you in the ways I've hurt every other girl. I left the shed that day because I'm scared of what will happen. I want to tell you, "I love you" but I can't bring myself to say it. I don't know how you've gotten this emotion out of me. I don't like having a weak point. I like doing it--having relations with you. I don't just want to toss you aside when I'm done. I want you to like it to. To spend time with me afterward. Just try to imagine this being told to you in my voice, OK? Mamori. I love you. More than I can say. I love you and I don't know why. I can try being the best... boyfriend... Damn. That just sounds weird._

_Hiruma_

It took me a while to stop crying. But when I did, I noticed I had a huge grin on my face.

--

I burned that letter. To make sure no one ever saw it. To know with utmost certainty no one could ever use what he wrote to me in that letter against him. I memorized every word before I chucked it into our small wood stove, to make sure those loving words were with me always-- even if he never says them to me. And since that day I didn't tell Hiruma that I loved him again, and he never planned to tell me. We were in this little love cycle of "need to know" only. But we could see it when we looked at each other the love and affection that ran through us.

It was during summer vacation when things got really serious. I have no idea what his parents do for a living, but it had them out of the house all summer vacation. Hiruma took this opportunity to get me over his place and stay there. I laughed and told him my parents would rather me die. Then he smiled.

"Just lie to them." He said matter-of-factly. He was cooly drinking a type of orange juice and looking rather satisfied with his problem solving skills. I just stared at him. As if I could just barge into my house and say, 'I'm not going over my boyfriend Hiruma's house! Going to some anonymous friend's all summer! See ya!' But of course this wasn't what Hiruma had in mind. He had a more vicious scheme planned. He grabbed my phone and called his own. With my number, he called my house. Of course my dad answered.

"Hello?" My dad asked. Hiruma's number must have been set to 'restricted'... Of course.

"Hello, Mr. Anezaki?" Hiruma asked with a perfect imperssionation of Deimon High School's principal. I heard my dad stutter and quietly laughed. Hiruma saw me and smiled in my direction.

"Ah, hello! H-how may I help you?" My dad was obviously fixing his hair in a mirror thinking that the other person could see him.

"Well we need your permission for something. You see, your daughter has been oh so careless and left a slip your wife signed at your house. It was to go on a retreat to Osaka this summer for a month. I'm sure you recall such a slip?" Hiruma made faces as he impersonated. I tried really, really hard not to laugh.

"Of course I remember! My silly daughter. You have permission. Mamori is allowed to go on this resort. If my wife OK'd it, it's OK with me." I heard my dad smile through the phone. Was was deception so much fun?

"Thank you Mr. Anezaki. We'll send her home to get some things." Hiruma then hung up and looked at me. His toothy grin spread out across his face. I giggled uncontrolabley and Hiruma hugged me. I was frozen in place. Hiruma doesn't do PDA. Ever. Holding hands was a break through-- now hugging? I mentally cataloged this moment. Then he released me, holding me by the tops of my arms. I saw his loving gaze and melted. It was nice knowing that Hiruma was there for me. Even if it was tricking my father. But he was also there in the sense that he loves me. And no one else could love me in that moment more than Hiruma. I stood on my tip toes and placed a small kiss on Hiruma's lips. Then quickly turned around and headed towards home. Hiruma was right behind me. Still holding my hand.

When I got to my house Hiruma stayed on the street hidden by our concrete fence. My dad was waiting at the door with a duffel bag for me. He muttered something about irresponsible teenagers and told me to pack, throwing the bag at me. I packed all of the skimpy underwear my girl friends have bought for me over the years and all the clothes I could find that weren't hideously plain. I've never been around Hiruma in anything other than my uniform and nothing at all. I finally felt it then. How impossibly nervous I was. I could feel the cold sweat forming on my palms. I'm going over Hiruma's. For a month. Images flooded my brain of what that would look like. Two high schoolers sleeping in the same house? Alone?? If anyone saw us... I'd never be able to show my face again!

I was still worrying when I got outside. My head swam with possible escape routes from this situation. 'My dad's really sick.' 'I have a project to work on.' 'Oh, my grandmother just died.' But none of them seemed to work. Hiruma would see right through my ruse and drag me by my hair to his house. I looked up, ready to see the greedy eyes of my kipnapper. I thought of ways to run around him, to maybe maneuver around my story's holes. But when he came around that fence to look at me, I didn't want to run away. I saw him standing there, long legs crossed at the ankle, muscled arms folded over his chest. And his genuine smile he saved for me. His eyes were beautifully calm and smiled with his mouth. I could barely find it in me to move. But when I did, I made a b-line right for Hiruma's arms. I wanted to forced myself into them. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and hold me until I was satisfied. But right when I got close to him he walked away. Started to walk down the street and away from me. I was instantly pissed.

"Hey!" I yelled at him. He took no notice. Kept walking as if I hadn't said a damned thing. I marched angrliy after him on the sidewalk. How could he ignore me? I'm his girlfriend dammit! If I want a hug I'm going to get one! I curled my hands into fists. I could feel the heat in my face, the pressure of my fingernails digging into the skin in my palm. _Right when he stops. I'm going to punch him in the mouth. _Yes, I had a plan. I would hurt Hiruma for ignoring me. His long legs and irresistible chest won't save him now! "Hiruma!" I yelled again, and he stopped. Turned around. And took me in his arms. My hands were still fists, but I lost all of my anger. My body went limp in his arms. This is where I wanted to be. I took my balled up hands and put them on his back. My fingers relaxed and spanned his lower back, feeling his smooth muscles under their tips. I sighed.

"Were you going to punch me?" Hiruma asked after a few minutes. But I didn't care about time. I could stay there forever.

"I was." I admitted. "But I'm OK now." I proved my point by kissing the closest part of him I could-- he neck. Just a light little peck. It was nice, kissing him. He always has a tastey flavor on him-- fresh cut grass, the salty bitterness of his sweat, or the sweetness of whatever body wash he uses. I felt him do a light laugh. It shook his chest and made me giggle. Then he picked my face up with one of his hands and kissed me. It started sweet. The tangyness of whatever juice he was drinking still on his breath. His tongue swept across mine with such familiarity it was like we've never spent a moment not kissing. I traced his pointed teeth with mine, memorizing every line. This was the trigger. He swiftly picked me up in his arms and ran top speed down the street. I was confused. Was I that bad of a kisser? Where was he taking me? Was he going to dump me in a river and never look back? I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck. "What's wrong now?" I mumbled. He just kept running. Was I that light? He never broke his stride.

By the time we stopped I had already speculated the worse. I winced as he set me down. He towered over me, glaring at me with those eyes I can't resist.

"What do you think you were you doing?" Hiruma asked, snarling at the end. I blinked. What did I do? He answered my questions. "Don't do things like that to me in public. I was about to rip your damn clothes off... On the street! I thought you got that when I walked away from you... But you looked so c-" I could hear it in his head. He was going to say "cute". I tried not to smile but in my struggle it got worse. I broke into fits of giggles followed by doubling over. It hurt to laugh this much. But it was a nice hurt. It was a happy hurt.

--

When I was finally finished my giggling I looked up and saw where we stopped. We were at his house and the door was already opened. Infact, he was standing inside the threshold waiting patiently for me to finish. I caught up with him and took his hand. He lead me inside and halfheartedly showed me around. It was an odd layout for a traditional Japanese house. Everything had a western sharpness to it that I couldn't place. It was one story but this story was huge. Much bigger than what the small look of the outside had let on. The floor was a rich oak that made small protests under my weight, as if it's seen enough feet in its life time. He led me down a long, endless hallway. While we walked he casually pointed out things like the three bathrooms (with full baths), a kitchen, a dining room, two sitting rooms, a back up kitchen, storage closet, more guest rooms than I could count, his parent's room, and finally at the very end of the hallway he pointed down.

"My room." He said with a certain smugness I didn't understand. I looked down and saw ornately carved wooden doors in the oak floor. I crouched down and ran my hands over them once, twice, three times. I couldn't believe it. They seemed like something torn right out of a history book. This whole house screamed, "mafia" or, "stolen". Maybe it was a long lost relatives? Or maybe Hiruma is filthy rich. What do his parents do? It hurt my head to think about.

Hiruma knelled down next to me and grabbed both handles. He lifted the heavy looking doors with ease and let them tall adjacent to where they were closed. I look down into the abyss bellow me. I couldn't see anything. I looked back at Hiruma. He had a ridiculously large, toothy grin on.

"Ladies first." He insisted. I just stared at him.

"Ladies first? To do what? Do I have to jump?" I almost screamed. He laughed, took my bag off of my shoulder and stuck a foot into the shadowy cavern. I reached my hand out for him, to catch him in his perpetual fall-- But nothing happened. I stared blankly. He grinned again. His foot was placed on a solid staircase that winded down into the darkness. He reached out for my hand. I greedily took it. He confidently strode down the mysterious staircase. I tried not to look down. It seemed impossibly long and even more terrifying. I had to make an effort not to shield my eyes as we walked. I felt the vibrations of laughter travel through his arms. He knew I was scared. Damn him.

When we finally reached the end I could smell Hiruma all around me. Like he was hugging me too tightly. Nervousness swept through me. I took deep, meaningful breaths. It was still dark, and the room seemed big, like if I said something it would echo for days, so I said nothing. Hiruma wrapped his gangly arms around me and started to place small, meaningful kisses all down my neck and around to my face. I melted in his loose grip. He knew how to make me fall in love with him all over again. He turned me around to face him, his eyes glowing with excitement, mine reflecting the same want. We shared a sweet, passionate kiss. It took all I could not to collapse. When did he take control of my emotions like this? This was bliss.

He quickly removed me of my clothes, faster than I ever could. He laid me down on his bed and used his claws to meaningfully stroke the length of my body. I shivered and moaned at his touch. My flesh yearned for him, and he knew it. Hiruma's head disappeared in between my legs.  
I was instantly self concious, what was he doing? Then I felt his tongue, entering me, flicking at my sensitive spots, making sure he heard me squeal and writhe under his skill. It felt so good, but it wasn't enough. He put his hands on my hips to stop me from moving into his advances, and I pushed his head down with my hands to keep it going. I felt so close, and he knew it too, so he lifted his head up and inserted his fingers instead. These went much deeper than his tongue and filled me with so much lust. I moaned his name the more he moved those talented appendages. I begged for him to go deeper, harder, faster-- And he finally took out his fingers even though I moaned for him to go back. Then he finally went inside me, fully inside. I felt him deep in me, moving and grinding against me. I was breathing so hard I could barely hear him moan my name with every thrust.

"Mamori... Mamori..." It sounded so rough and husky, everything I ever wanted to hear. I could see his mouth part and his pointy, shark-like teeth peeking through the gap. It was so tempting... I leaned forward and kissed him deeply, he moaned in my mouth and pounded into me more and more, harder, just like I asked. Oh it felt too good. I broke our kiss to scream out his name over, and over, and over, and he grunted mine. When he came, he made sure to pull out and spread his seed all over me. I was mildly disgusted, but it felt so amazing at the same time. I loved this boy, and every part of him. He laid down next to me and I cuddled into his back. He grunted a mild discomfort to cuddling, but he let me snuggle on to his back. Then I said the weirdest thing...

"I love you Hiruma." He turned his head and looked at me, totally skeptical. Then he smiled.

"Yeah."


End file.
